They say that the two week wait to find out if you are pregnant is the hardest thing. You analyze every little twinge that you feel. For me it was cramping, nausea, and being tired. Sometimes the cramps were the bad thing for the day, other times wanting to throw up my chicken at lunch was the worst thing. If you recall me being nauseated is not a new thing and now I know that I shouldn't have read into anything.
This morning we went in for the blood draw to find out if we were pregnant. Of course since I have no patience I took a urine test this morning. Just more of the same that I'm used to seeing, "not pregnant." I knew that sometimes the urine tests are not that accurate especially this early, so I held out hope. When we got to the doctors to have our blood drawn the phlebotomist asked me if I had tested and I told her that I had and that it said not pregnant. She wasn't too optimistic that that the blood test would be positive and she was right. We just got a phone call that my blood pregnancy test was negative.
I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of my sails. I'm pissed. I'm going to go back over every moment from the transfer on and analyze them to figure out what the hell happened. I have a pretty good idea of what I think happened, but that is not here nor there and doesn't change the fact that I'm still not going to be able to hold a precious baby in my arms.
So where do we go from here? As of today I stop taking the aspirin, estrogen, and the progesterone shots. I should get my period in 2-7 days. On day 3 of bleeding I will start the birth control again. We are going to try a frozen cycle this next time. At this point I am not sure what this entails, but we have an appointment June 3rd.
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