Emotions

This week has been a hard one for me. It always seems like I'm doing ok, but then I realize I'm really not. I'm just shoving it all inside and putting on a happy face. I'm sure that some of you who read this saw my post on Facebook Wednesday night about wanting just one day to feel like being a baby making failure wasn't being thrown in my face. Everywhere I look there are people who are going to get to be a mother and have a little baby of their own. It seems as though all anyone ever talks about is getting pregnant, being pregnant, or their kids. Sometimes I want to shout "FIND ANOTHER SUBJECT!" and I may just do that the next time I feel like I'm being bombarded. If you're the one who is on the other end, I'm not sorry. No one seems to understand completely how I feel about this subject except, perhaps, other infertile myrtles going through the exact same process.  Even then, I know that I am not alone, but most of the time it sure feels like it. I found this quote on Pinterest the other day and thought how ironic... This is so how I feel.

Today started the next step in our third IVF cycle. I started giving myself Lupron shots again. Every morning I give myself 10 units of Lupron. I am still on my birth control and will continue both until next Friday. Next Friday will be the last birth control pill. Nick and I also started take Z-paks again to kill any bacteria that could keep us from getting pregnant. It is hard to be optimistic about this cycle when we've had two that have failed, when we've had so much that has failed.

I am still gluten free and I am loving it. It is hard sometimes to figure out what we can and can't eat. We've even attempted to make some of the meals that we like gluten free. The first one, beef stroganoff, turned out really well thanks to Nick who cooked it!

Things are going well with the house building process. We have pretty much ironed out the main layout and some of the bigger things in the process. Last Monday we were back in Fort Wayne to pick out our exterior choices. When I can figure out how to get photos from my iPad to my computer wirelessly I will post some pictures. It looks like we will not be moving back to Fort Wayne until mid to late November. We are going to try to wait until we are closer to moving back to start the actual building process. We want to be closer so that we can keep an eye on the house as it goes up.

The next step in the IVF process will be a baseline ultrasound on September 12th to make sure that there are no cysts and that we are good to start the stimulation.